Stay safe, Drink Driving warning over christmas

I would like to share an experience with you all, about drinking and driving.
As you well know, some of us have been known to have had brushes with
the authorities on our way home from the odd social session over the
years.
A couple of nights ago, I was out for a few drinks with some friends
and had a few too many beers and some rather nice claret.
Knowing full well I may have been slightly over the limit, I did
something I've never done before
- I took a bus home.
I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise,
as I have never driven a bus before and am not sure where I got it
from!


But in all seriousness, have fun and stay safe everyone!
cheers
KP

Three guys are sitting around boxing day telling stories of their Christmas escapades.

First guy says, "I bet you $50 I had the worst Christmas. I was out on the drink, came home and my wife Sherlie found me in the gutter, head was split open and I was naked".

The other two guys laughed.

Second guy speaks up, "That was nothing. Bet you $100 mine was worse. I was also out on the piss, came home, spewed up on the kitchen bench, tripped over as I was taking a pee in the garbage bin and knocked over all the christmas glassware. Wendy my wife was very unhappy"

The other two guys laughed.

"No way" the third guy spoke, "Bet you $150 mine was worse. I was so drunk from Christmas I came home, stumbled through the front door, found her, grabbed her tightly and made love to Maria all night long."

The other two looked at him "So that's a great night".

The third guy owned up, "Maria's my dog."

LMAO, I had to read that a couple of times to get it! Dumb cunt right here! Lmao +1 for you Python.