Best joke of all

Lylows face

should be in the horror section.

Rock_N_Rolla wrote:

Lylows face

Bobbing 3 feet above Rockas face. My ass is 1 foot above your face. My knife, and your tags are bobbing along with me, clutched firmly in my hands.


DIVORCE!

A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was mugged by a gang of snails. A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened.

The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied “I don't know, it all happened so fast.”

A 2nd grade teacher decides to teach sex ed. to her class. She starts out by drawing a penis on the chalk board and asks the class, "Does anyone know what this is?"

And little Johnny says, "Yes, my dad has 2 of them!"

And the teacher says, "Are you sure about that?"

And little Johnny says, "Yes, he uses a small skinny one to go to the bathroom, and a big long one to brush the babysitter's teeth."

ok one more


A little girl and her mother were out and about.

Out of the blue, the girl asked her mother, "Mommy, How old are you?"

The mother responded, "Honey, women don't talk about their age. You'll learn this as you get older."

The girl then asked, "Mommy, how much do you weigh?"

Her mother responded again, "That's another thing women don't talk about. You'll learn this, too, as you grow up."

The girl, still wanting to know about her mother, then fired off another question, "Mommy, why did you and Daddy get a divorce?"

The mother, a little annoyed by the questions, responded, "Honey, that is a subject that hurts me very much, and I don't want to talk about it now."

The little girl, frustrated, sulked until she was dropped off at a friend's house to play. She consulted with her girlfriend about her and her mother's conversation.

The girlfriend said, "All you have to do is sneak a look at your mother's driver's license. It's just a like a report card from school. It tells you everything."

Later, the little girl and her mother were out and about again.

The little girl started off with, "Mommy, Mommy, I know how old you are. I know how old you are. You're 32 years old."

The mother was very shocked. She asked, "Sweetheart, how do you know that?"

The little girl shrugged and said, "I just know. And I know how much you weigh. You weigh 130 pounds."

"Where did you learn that?"

The little girl said, "I just know. And I know why you and Daddy got a divorce. You got an 'F' in sex."

Rock_N_Rolla wrote:

Lylows face

x-ume wrote:

should be in the horror section.

I shat my pants

ive just got myself a new job.

lol... your boob rack maybe alittle high fo some of those sagging grannies
out their.

That is brilliant BlackNinja, Hilarious! God I pissed myself laughing

its great thought i would share my laughter

If you like the movie the Hangover, you'll love this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qlPZq8llJJ4&feature=fvst

Everyone jump out of this thread, and have a look what Fastcraig put under "Sense of humour" on his profile. Here's the Link

He will now be banned from the clan. Let this be a lesson to the rest of you


Only jokin! AND UP THE MIGHTY PIES!!!!!!!!

Three couples went out camping. The three husbands stayed in one tent and the three wives stayed in the other. At about 3 in the morning, Bob woke up and yelled, "Wow, unbelievable!"

Bill woke up and asked, "What's going on?"

Bob said, "I've got to go to the other tent and find my wife."

"How come?"

"To have sex! I just woke up with the biggest erection I've ever had in my life!"

After a pause, Bill said, "Do you want me to come with you?"

"Hell, no! Why would I want you to do that?"

"Because that's my dick you're holding."

Classic

Told on TS but I'll post it too

Mate sent me a SMS

Fantastic I've just discovered Twitter


It's the sensitive area between the girls twat and her shitter

Dear christ, I heard you tell it live the other night - but that never gets old.

All the animals at Woolly and Mephisto's house:



Eh? Eh? You know what Im talkin' 'bout

Some of these jokes are kind of racist but yeah.

Your not funny

Why is my sig not working? anyone know why?

because your racist

And gay

My two best mates are Maoris and their dad didn't mess with Karls sister...

But by god, she hit 15, got beautiful and karl couldn't stop his best mate going there.

I don't get this but apparently it's supposed to be funny... Funny? you tell me..