Crakhore's pick up lines

1) Did you fart?
cuz you blew me away.

2) My Love fer you is like diarrhea.
I can't hold it in.

3) Do you have a library card?
cuz I'd like to sign you out.

4) Is there a mirror in yer pants?
cuz I can see myself in em.

5) If you was a tree & I was a Squirrel, I'd store my nuts in yer hole.

6) You might not be the best lookin girl here, but beauty's only a light switch away.

7) Crakhore: - "Fat Penguin!"
Woman - "WHAT?"
Crakhore: - "I just wanted to say something that would break the ice."

I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make yer bed-rock.

9) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him?
I think he went inta this cheap motel room.

10) Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

11) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin, we kin sleep til afternoon.

12) Yer face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.

ThePiedPiper wrote:

7) Crakhore: - "Fat Penguin!"
Woman - "WHAT?"
Crakhore: - "I just wanted to say something that would break the ice."

This one reminded me of something a phillipino friend told me. In the phillipines, when you join a new school they give you "Ice breaker cards", with random sayings on them to break the tension with your new peers, such as "You have lovely eyes". Whether its true or not, it cracked me up all the same.

Hahaha, Piper, thats a definite +1 vote from me to you! Cracked me up mate! Beauty's only a light switch away! Wonder what'll happen if I tell the misses this one? ..........



And lol at the phillipino's Middy?!!? The hell? lol!

MidnightBeast wrote:

ThePiedPiper wrote:

7) Crakhore: - "Fat Penguin!"
Woman - "WHAT?"
Crakhore: - "I just wanted to say something that would break the ice."

This one reminded me of something a phillipino friend told me. In the phillipines, when you join a new school they give you "Ice breaker cards", with random sayings on them to break the tension with your new peers, such as "You have lovely eyes". Whether its true or not, it cracked me up all the same.

Here's one:
"may I partake in some of your banana fritter?" - Thats only passed out at the Catholic boys schools though

lylow wrote:

Here's one:
"may I partake in some of your banana fritter?" - Thats only passed out at the Catholic boys schools though

Glad I don't go to one of those then ... o.O

i use the below ones on the women up here...they work a treat...

Are you a farmer? cuz u sure know how to raise a cock.

hi.im an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore uranus.

if i flip a coin, what do you reckon my chances of getting head?

Giggidy giggidy giggidy giggidy let’s have sex!

hey baby, do u work at subway? Cuz u just gave me a footlong

How do you like your eggs in the morning, scrambled or fertillized?

If I’m a pain in your arse, we can just add more lube !

Why don’t you get down on your knees and smile like a doughnut?

Can I touch your belly button…from the inside?

as long as i have a face you will always have a place to sit

My penis stopped breathing, can you do CPR?

What has 142 teeth, and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My Zipper.

I like your hair… it’d look real good in my crotch.

fuk they were funny